Providence Presbyterian Church - Powdersville SC

Opening the Windows – A Guide for the Journey 

In a book I’ve got it talks about loss and the way loss tears us apart, takes us down and rebuilds us, by the grace of God, into a new person.  I have experienced this first hand, so I thought as we begin a new year I would share some of the things I have used to help me take a closer walk with God…even when the time does not allow me to sit and meditate.  I am learning to open the windows to my soul by mapping the pathways between art and prayer.  Cultivating a creative spirit opens a place of freedom and vulnerability in us and we become willing to pray, or at least I can.

I found it best to combine artistic expression with soul-searching.  I delve into the dark recesses of who I am in order to see how a physical form that is often missing from my typical prayer life.  By jumping into the exercise, I find a way to express my innermost thoughts and feelings.  These exercises encourage my soul to take flight among the things that enslave me.  They form windows to the soul – a place where, despite the dark panes of life, God invites me to see through a glass more clearly.

I tried this in November last year and decided to do a window to my soul to hang on our deck.  I had four panes to work with, so I divided my life into four sections.  I adore the one that represents my childhood and my teen years – it reminds me of playing in the rain…because the glass is iridescent and has bubbles in it.  The next pane is darker but has vivid streaks in it representing the three children that I had that brought vivid light, love and joy into an otherwise dark part of my young life.  The next  pane represents a particularly dark time of my life when I lost two sons, as most of you know.  It is jagged and rougged, but still has a beautiful color to its hue.  I don’t know why I chose the rose background.  I look back now and know that it was God who invited me to choose this color so I could see through that particular pane of my life more clearly and to see that he was always there.  The last pane represents the place I am now and will stay for the remainder of my life and it shows the clarity of color and beauty that Lewis and I have and share with our own family, friends and church family.

I learned that you do not have to be an artist to make something that speaks from your soul.  You generate honesty, not a masterpiece.  You learn to put criticism aside, get rid of distractions and make space for the journey.  When I look at this window from inside our kitchen, I know that God was walking slowly and gently with me through all of my days.  His Spirit was with me each step that I took and as I look back now, He was forming the person I was to become….a new but different me from what I had been for most of my life..

I have learned, that just as the disciples were called to support one another in their life of prayer, we too are called to support one another in our spiritual journeys.  We need spiritual companions for comfort, assurance and love.    I have learned to be honest with God and not afraid to voice the doubts, fears, joys and questions that I have.  I had this wonderful woman who counseled me as a Spiritual Director, and she said it was okay if I yelled at God….now that was something I didn’t expect to hear from her – me – YES, but not from Sister Caroline.

So my journey began, continues and will continue and the window hangs reminding me that I am in that quarter of a pane where I have grown, stretched and know that God loves me deeply and profoundly, just as I am.  Consider making a window, or some other artistic piece of work for your journey….it’s worth every ounce of time it takes to create something that reminds you of the window into your soul.

May this year bring you blessings, health, happiness and joy and may the Lord watch over us and guide us all on our journey. 

Grace and peace, Becky

 “Put me to the test, says the Lord of hosts;

see if I will not open the windows of heaven for you

and pour down for you an overflowing blessing.

–         Malachi 3:10